" .....Let 'er rip......"


              ...coz Straaayans..yez might just be in a bit of the very least )... linguistic strife !!! BETTER CALL COCKY !!!!!!!!


Breaking News. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coming in March 2021 ....Initial audition Academy Entrance Squawk will be a choice of two topics !!


1) Straaaya ! Straaaya ! Straaaya ! Oh Jeez, what you could be !!


2) .."that National Vision Thingo..where the bloody hell are Ya ??? 

(Can be a Squawk2GO or  3 minute Squawk )

See general guidelines below, form a squawk group, get squawking and rehearsing, keep tuned...:)


So it's a pretty simple solution really. Choose a topic from the menus except ('what the hell..) that ‘speaks’ to you, construct a presentation that runs right on(or just under) 3 minutes, speak from the heart, tell your truth and get to the friggin' point with passion, eloquence and panache without reference to notes. There is an audition process ( see form below) and your presentation must be well rehearsed. And yeh, feel free to take Cocky on on any points he's raised...just y'know...good luck. This is NOT a forum for mindless ranting ! Bigots and self-promoters of any persuasion have plenty of other forums to choose from.

What Cocky's looking for....

–presentations which provoke and challenge, inform, educate, entertain and step outside the square. The Academys' aim is to celebrate, explore and draw upon as wide a range as possible of demographics, views, stories, accents and linguistic nuances which reflect modern day Straaaya. There is a wide array of issues and topics to choose from within which there is no proscribed 'right' or 'wrong', 'Right' or "Left' as such. Just your take on things as it stands at this point in time.

You can go for ‘combos’(eg Cocky says #8, Cocky asks #46) on the initial squawk and, within the 'live' nights format, 'upgrades'.

Not looking for

–Cheap shots. Boring monologues. The Queens' English. Musical enhancement. Swearing except where necessary in reference to a menu item.

It is a strict condition of participation that this Speakers Forum cannot be used to promote or vilify any political party, organisation, religion, race or individual.’s Cockys' way..or the Highway.

You will give the presentation under your real name but are welcome to add a Loony name for yourself also. You are also welcome to 'dress up' if you feel it will enhance what it is you have to say.

Your squawk can come from a pub stool, outdoors or any environment you feel most comfortable in.

Judges' Criteria :

-Passion. Eloquence. Pananche /10

-Degree of difficulty/Mental acrobatics  /10

-Re-arranged my head/Oh yeh, why didn't I think of that?  /10

-Got to the friggin' point /10

-Yawn Factor (or not) /10




SQUAWK2GO (2 minutes) 

- One menu item only !

- Only one flavour ! Spicy !!

- No upgrades !


Squawk ( 3 minute clear run)

Choose from:

–My two bob's worth. (Mild)

–Don't get me started !!!(Spicy)



Cage rattler (3-4 minutes)

–On a good roll...

Sermon from Mount Lofty (4-5 minutes)

–On a damned good roll. Only the best get this far.


So...still feeling a bit nervy about having a crack?? Check out these everyday Straaayans in flight...

password:  renegade



So what are you waiting for? Get rehearsing, upload your squawk to Youtube and send Cocky your link and contact information. In the message box leave your menu choice(s), age and geographical location. Your personal details will be strictly confidential and not passed on to any third parties.

Keep an eye on the website for 2020 Audition dates.