Life, stuff , and the whole damned thing....
Australian Raving Loony Party.
Passion. Eloquence. Panache.
You know it makes sense.
'A MIGHTY WIND'
You ! Yeh !! YOU !!!
"Well, don't just stand there ! Let 'er rip !!"
Thanks so much to First Nations Straaayans for looking after the joint so well for the last...(still counting)..60,000 years or so.
1.If ya wanna lift your spirits in these vacuous times and find out more about what it means to be Straaayan.....read/listen up on the mindboggling life of an Unsung and virtually Unknown Straaayan Hero...Anthony Martin Fernando.
2. Firies. Ambos. Hospital Emergency Ward staff. Cops. Soooo underappreciated until ya need 'em! Admit it, most of yez wouldn't last 2 hours on a shift with them, let alone on a booze fuelled Friday or Saturday night. And those who attack 'em end up with a slap over the wrist with a wet lettuce. Check out their PTSD and suicide rates...along with Veterans. A National Bloody Disgrace !!!. Grrrr...
3.The amount of rubbish Straaayans throw out on to the Nation's Highways.....another bloody National Disgrace. Grrrr......
4. Crikey, according to the New York Times, Straaaya is the most secretive democracy in the world.
5.Manners. Gestures. Matter. Straaaya needs a National Niceness Day. Y'know, where like for just 24 hours, Straaayans (especially urban ones ) are nice to each other 'n' stuff and maybe talk to someone youze wouldn't normally to....eg. if you see a Collingwood supporter in the street, walk up and introduce yourself, suggest a good denture practice you know of, shake their hand, pat them on the back and wish them well. Or have a yak to a stranger on public transport.
6. Observe. Just. Observe. Birds, at the very least, for example. Those magnificent messengers from the post asteroid dinosaur extinction.
7. Choices. Actions. Words. Consequences. Acceptance. Deep. Acceptance.
8. Vanity. Vanity. Vanity. All is vanity. Especially in this friggin' Digital Age.
9. Our national anthem is an 35 year old embarrassing, disrespectful and inappropriate dirge of an Ode to this Ancient Land and Culture that hardly anyone knows all the words to, let alone sings with gusto. And Smartypants Seinfeld reckons our present flag, created in, 1953 looks like "Great Britain at night." Whaddya reckon ?
Read up all about the history of it..
10. Apathy. The Great Straaayan National Pastime.
11. Straaaya. How one of the world’s oldest ongoing democracies and a complete historical European accident 'began' with a mass, rain soaked drunken orgy on Sydney harbour in February 1788. (see The Fatal Shore Robert Hughes)
12. Straaaya. A unique but very derivative culture.
13. Straaayans are bloody hopeless at giving and receiving praise.
14. Straaayans are drinking and eating themselves to death. And are easily the world's biggest gamblers.Something ain't right.
15. From White Australia to 180 nationalities in less than 2 generations more or less successfully. Discuss.
16. Before 21 and after 45 or so...Straaaya reeeeally doesn’t give too much of a shit about you.
17. Straaaya. No country for old men or women.
18. There's plenty of lip service to but no great practical love of 'excellence' in Straaayan culture.
19. Prior to the Big Day, intending to marry couples should have to spend a day in the divorce courts observing just how over time....'undying' love can turn to ferocious hate.
Are most of us just in love with......the Idea of Love? Maybe a 7 year Renewable Contract...especially where kids are involved..is maybe the way to go.
20. In the end, Romance always meets Reality...... and then adapts or dies.
21. In the end, we all just want to belong and be safe and warm.
22. In the end, everything which is given to us is taken away.
23. The ol' ‘Left/Right’ paradigm is dead.....or at least on a ventilator and in need of a new diagnosis.
24. The 24/7 media cycle is leaving us numb, dumb, dazed, confused, overwhelmed and disconnected. Or not.
25. It really does indeed all spin on a dime. You turned left instead of right. Someone said something. The phone rang.
26. Whatever the epoch, human beings move within a very limited emotional range.
27. SOcial MediA is leaving most of us with the attention span of a butterfly.Or not.
28. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
29. Our minds. The constant battleground between what should be......and what is.
30. There doesn’t seem to be much of a ‘Sisterhood’ these days. Or there does.
31. Nothing is wasted. Ever. Your greatest disasters can become your best teachers.
32. Get in touch with your Inner Cocky.(or Cockette )
33. Don’t worry so much. Everything that happens, happens mostly without you.
34. No-one can escape pain. Everyone suffers eventually. Walk your own path bravely.
35. If you’re not living at least somewhere near the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
36. Here come The Lifestylers. There goes the neighbourhood.
37. ‘Sex and the city’ was the (worst)/(best) thing to happen to the Modern Western Woman.
38. Enough of the phony 'morning show' bonhomie already ! I hate 'effing mornings !!
39. Most people lead lives of quiet desperation.
40. Most people think everything is just what they assume.
41. The Self-Esteem Movement is mostly bullshit. Here’s why.
42. It’s the ordinary people of the world who keep it going.
43. We are not The Show. We are simply the actors/agents through which The Show,
within Natural Law, imagines, realizes and contemplates itself.
44. The first law of the universe is impermanence.
45. Any drug that is big enough to give it all to you is big enough to take it all away.
46. Alcoholism. Cunning, baffling, powerful, but most importantly, patient. (Ta Crill..)
47. To succeed at anything, your desire to achieve must exceed your fear of failing.
48. Every generation is dealt its’ cards. These were/are mine/yours/ours...
49. Happiness. Something to do. Someone to love. Something to look forward to.
50. Treaty Yeh. Treaty Now.
51. Success. Doing the best you can daily with what you've got....and then some.
52. Normal is a setting on a washing machine.
53. Corporations have hijacked the national narrative.
54. WE REEEEAAAAALLY CARE!! This emotional moment proudly sponsored/brought to you by......yeh,right !
55. For just 5 minutes, stop
a) projecting onto everyone and everything.
b) holding endless opinions on things you know nothing about.
c) thinking everything is just what you assume.
d) thinking you’re in total control.
e) thinking complex issues can be summed up in a few sentences.
f) thinking that many people actually give a shit about what you think.
56. Everyone should do one Vipassana or similar in their lives.
57. Failure is a better teacher than Success.Helicopter Parents take note !!
58. Men. Here are some things you reeeeeally need to know about women. (or Men.)
59. Women. Here are some things you reeeeeally need to know about men. (or Women.)
60. The customer isn’t always right. The customer is often a complete arsehole.
61. People and objects only have the ‘meanings’ we individually or collectively infuse them with.
62. Don’t believe in :
a) miracles? Why not? You’re surrounded by them.
b) spirits? Why not? They whisper to you often.
c) symmetry? Why not? Everything IS connected.
63. Straaayan mediocrity at work/ Death By Committee/Darker Forces
c) Murray/Darling Basin
d) Public transport and ticketing (try Japan's !!)
e) Docklands/Darling Harbour and the like's boring visual blandification and squandered opportunities
f) Apartheid education system
g) Architecture/ blandified, unsympathetic burbs and high rise apartment design/shonky construction
h) New burbs estates with zilch services.
i) Straaayan management (ranked 17th out of 27 - Global Business Survey 2016)
k) road design
l) award winning national mobile network
64. Cultures and individuals need to regenerate themselves about every generation or so. Or accept the consequences
65. Very little of value has ever come out of Easy Street.
66. For anything worthwhile to happen, first it must be imagined. And then there's the follow-up daydreaming......
67. Be bold.......and mighty forces will come to your aid.
68. Only bad things happen quickly.
69. Like it or not, every time you set foot on foreign soil you are judged as an ambassador for Straaaya.
70. You're never lonely with a ukelele.
71. The statute of limitations on childhood trauma mostly expires at 50. Or not.
72. Giving a shit and attention to detail trump mediocrity and apathy. Every time.
73. Twitter. Tweets are for mostly illiterate, grammar challenged, anonymous Coward's Corner twits. Or too often a medium for conspicuously compassionate, self promoting, feel good, easy road slacktivism twats. Or not.
74. There's the way people and things seem. And there's the way they actually are.
75. Straaayans mainly argue in black and white with little or no shades of gray. And take no prisoners.
76. Straaaya. Straaaya. Straaaya. Ooooh Jeez, what you could be !
77. There are our Higher Angels. And then there are our Lower Ones.
78. There's a Fundamental Decency at the heart of Straaaya which particularly shines in times of disaster.
79. Spend some quality time in Asia and you can't help but wonder about and worry for Straaaya's possible future as the 'poor white trash' of the region.
80. If you want a vision of a solely fossil fuel based future then go spend some time in cities like New Delhi. And weep. Literally.
81. People need Earth. Earth doesn't need people. Or it does.
82. There's hardly any Mystery any more. Like most Junk Machine appalling movies and reality TV these days, stories have become bankrupt, diminished or just recycled.
83. Forget the damned cat ! All of the great breakthroughs and achievements began with someone being Curious about something.
84. Oooooh thanks Straaaya, now leading the world in species extinction !!! A lot of them are my mates !!!
85. 'Fashionable' excessive cynicism is becoming a personal, social and political cancer which is slowly eating Straaayans alive.
86. Straaaya's lack of respect for teachers is gonna come back soon and bite it on the bum big time !!
87. The Ultimate Wank. Taking a selfie on the summit of Mount Everest or Uluru and posting it on Instagram. Respect.
88. Family Law Courts in crisis. Medicare collapsing and Mental Health System collapsed. Road rage and carnage. Something ain't right.
89. Stuff Bali and Phuket ! Do yerself, yer family and regional Straaaya a favour by taking a holiday there. Ask. Listen.Learn.
90. The SOcial MediA/Tech Overlords are Modern Day Drug Barons and only have One Mission. To get you addicted to ephemeral bullshit early, (whilst actively surrendering your soul to them to the detriment of your future).......and then addicted for life. Or not.
91.Unprecedented homelessness and families living in cars. Death trap, now valueless apartments enshrouded with combustible, cheap cladding, Royal Commissions into Aged Care, Mental Health, Disability and those Effing Banks. Read , listen, weep and shake your head as to when and how it all could possibly have come to this.
92. Welcome back, John Keynes. Oooooroooo Milton Friedman. Or not.
93. Life's First Lesson. It's not fair. Here are your cards. Deal with 'em.
94. Orwell's '1984', Huxley's 'Brave New World' and the Tom Hanks film 'The Circle' have urgent messages and should be compuslory secondary school reading and viewing. From next week.
Classes to discuss 'the boiling frog syndrome', 'surveillance capitalism/communism ' and how, in a 'SOMA' trance and through a Sirens-like SOcial MediA, we are endlessly 'self-promoting, distracting and amusing ourselves to death.'
96. Relax. You only need a shower once or twice a week. Baths need to become a thing of the past.
97. The Public and Private Merchants of Fear have you square in their sights.
98. Privatized 'targets based ' Centrelink Robodebt collection, outsourcing of government employment and numerous services where the directors' and shareholders' return trumps actually looking after the client , the NDIS, NBN , and The Murray River /Darling Basin absolute fiascos ad nauseum.... Donald Horne got it oooh so right way back then.
99. Fortress Straaaya. Urban dwellers with every second driver in tank sized SUV's/utes with darkened windows ( that wouldn't be out of place in a Presidential Motorcade ), so often running red lights (with some bloated sense of entitlement) in choking traffic to get back to Fortress homes in streets with no-one on them. Almost every single person on public transport with heads down 'connecting' on their phones. Dopey pedestrians with earphones crossing against red lights with heads down stooped over phones. Bicyclists weaving in and out of traffic at night with no lights, distracted drivers sending texts and making/ taking calls, record crashes into trams and road tolls rising.
Something ain't right.
100. In the USA, Britain, France and many other countries which have a formal separation of Church and State, faith based Private Schools do not receive a cent from the Government. Discuss.
101. If only the Tech Overlords had used their gizmos..... for Niceness... instead of Evil. (Thanks, Max.)
102. All ya need is love. (Thanks J,P,G and R.)
103. Cocky's not much into ... 'isms'..and ..'ists'. Imagination, daydreaming and Upside Down Free Thinking.....way to go.
104. And I say to myself .....what a wonderful world. (Thanks Satchmo..)
105. Just when you think the Hard Far Right can't possibly outdo themselves, up pops the Loony Left and outdoes themselves.
106. Oooh so the advertising industry has suddenly discovered multiculturalism and lgbtqi amongst other markets to flog their mostly Corporate Crap to. Yeh....as if they actually give a shit.
107. They're coming.
108. The whole of Straaaya should be on permanent water restrictions NOW !!!!.....and that's just for starters. Grrrrrr.
109. Ya should read up on the Robber Barons back in the day in the US. Feels like they never left.
110 Horseracing. Sport of Kings. Yeh Right.
111. 'Luxury is based on suffering at best.' (Thanks Gus L.)
112. If you're thinking of volunteering to work in an overseas orphange, check out what J.K. Rawlings has to say about it..
Gawd, there's plenty of Straaayan communities that could use great volunteers !
113. Corruption. Public and Private, Moral and Financial. The fish rots from the head down.
114.. Gotta. Have. It. Now. No Ya Don't ! Patience is (used to be) a true virtue.
115. Should check out your future insurance premiums...these guys make it their business to know what the hell is goin' on..